The Lakers as SEX MOVES!

An Adam Morrison- A guy who did great in college but hasn’t gotten any play since.
“Mike was a player in college, but since he graduated he’s been a bit of an Adam Morrison”

A Kareem- Having amazing sex…while wearing goggles.
“I had to change it up in the bedroom last night, so I gave her the ol’ Kareem”

A Magic Johnson- Having group sex everyone enjoys while contracting HIV.
“It was a wild party this weekend and I ended up in the middle of a Magic Johnson”

A Kobe Bryant- Having non-consensual rough sex in Colorado, but you orgasm 81 times.
“I shouldn’t go back to Denver, I had a few drinks and ended up pulling a Kobe Bryant.”

A Pau Gasol- Fucking hard for 3 quarters of an hour, but you can’t finish.
“I had too many whiskey shots last night and I passed out in the middle of a Pau Gasol."

A Ron Artest- Having sex on PCP.
“HELP, I’m in my hotel room, there’s blood everywhere, mustard on the walls, and 3 owls hooting at me! I’m afraid I did a Ron Artest!”

A Phil Jackson- Telling someone how to make their girlfriend orgasm…11 times.
“My buddy just got his first girlfriend and he was nervous so I gave him the Phil Jackson.”

A Luke Walton- Getting laid because of something your dad did.
“Can you believe Freddy Prize Jr. pulled a Luke Walton on Sarah Michelle Gellar."

A Lamar Odom- Fucking a fat chick.
“It was a slow night at the bar so Lamar Odom was the best I could do.”

A Mike Brown- Shitting your pants during coitus.
“I’m never drinking tequila again. I went Mike Brown on her couch.”

A Shannon Brown- Sleeping with your friend’s fiancé.
“Don’t trust Chris, he went Shannon Brown on Mark’s girl last week.”

Kwame Brown- A really hot chick that’s worthless in the bedroom.
“I brought a model home on Saturday, but when I got her clothes off, she turned out to be a Kwame Brown.

Andrew Bynum- Doing well on the inside, then hurting yourself.
“I was balls deep in this chick last night and right as I’m about to finish my left knee went Andrew Bynum.”

Vlade Divac- Faking an orgasm.
“I dumped that chick because she’d go Vlade Divac on me before I even got going.”

Derek Fisher- An old chick with one last good ride left in her.
“I know she’s 46, but I’m telling you she’s a Derek Fisher for sure!”

Kurt Rambis- An unattractive girl that’s a hard worker down low.
“At first I was unsure about taking Katie out, but then she turned out to be a real Kurt Rambis.”

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