Our friends over at Deadspin are having our favorite time of the year; "Comedy Week" where they have guest comedian contributors give their take on sports and sports related stories. NY comedian Luke X. Cunningham is guest hosting for the week since they had a little fallout with potential host Sarah Silverman and his hilarious story is not just about playing basketball, its about playing basketball against LA hero Kobe Bryant.
My favorite part of the story:
"My response while running up court was, "Whatever. Your dad was a shitty NBA player." In hindsight, I'm happy he didn't know who my Dad was. Because if he'd responded, "Ed Cunningham does a shitty job of running an employees-only credit union." I probably would have cried and walked off the court."
Click on the image to read the article or if your a lazy fuck CLICK HERE
With this Lockout looking like to be lasting a thousand years it was time for us to break out Mike Tyson's Punchout for our Nintendo Entertainment System. Did you guys know King Hippo had a life outside of boxing?
Kim Clijsters- It’s gotta be hard to be an ugly tennis chick, because there’s a ton of talent out there. Poor old Kim has been an incredible player during her career, but unfortunately she came after the ugly years of tennis. During the run of Billie Jean King, Martina, and Lindsay Davenport, ugly chicks were all the rage, and Kim would’ve fit right in. Nowadays, it’s just smoking hot 17 year olds, and Kim is the dog-faced boy. Continue reading →
Since this is a sports blog I had to rewrite my story in a way where it focused around the magic of a Magic Johnson jersey but if you would like to read the original in its entirely click here
I've been a fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers since I was 8 years old, Blood Sugar Sex Magik came out in 1991 and thanks to KISS FM I got to hear "Give it Away" & "Under The Bridge" for the very first time. I know an 8 year old shouldn't be listening to them back then but my mom was that fucking cool.
What was even cooler was that in 94/95 she took me to my very first concert and it happened to be the Red Hot Chili Peppers opening up for The Rolling Stones at the Rose Bowl. I was 11 years old. Same time I started watching Laker games with my mom. I remember Anthony singing in his black & white clown suit, then ripping it off as they got into Give it Away. I remember jumping up and down on my chair because I couldn't see over the asshole that was in front of me but I was lucky enough to be there and experience my first RHCP show.
Then as the years went on, I kept on listening to them, started listening to their old records and eventually listened to every song they've ever made and collected every album that ever came out. Well, technically they were cassette tapes but I say albums because I'm not sure if the kids of today would remember tapes, but anyway... Continue reading →
Danica Patrick- Few things in the world are as irritating as being in the presence of a female driver; Danica is no exception. Her failures on the track make hate-fucking her off of it more appealing. She also has that special dead-behind-the-eyes quality that so many of our sexy starlets have perfected in Hollywood (see: Kardashian, Kim). Her voice and personality remind me of Cindy Crawford in the 90s, because they both suffer from the inability to speak without a droning soulless monotone. All you have to do is watch a GoDaddy commercial to see her talent waters do not run very deep. All that being said, I’d have sex with her. Continue reading →
Aren't you excited?!?! THE NFL IS BACK! OH thats right, just not in Los Angeles... While talks are getting stronger regarding Farmers Field being built, we can see a team coming to Los Angeles in the year 2016 so don't hold your breath just yet. Raiders, Chargers, Bills, Rams, Jaguars and the Vikings are all rumored to be persuaded to come play in LA but will any of their team names stick? Besides the Raiders & Rams it would be kind of odd to say "Los Angeles" before any of those names. So here at FEAR LA have decided to come up with some solutions to better market the LA area with new team names.
LOS ANGELES JAGUARES
If the Jaguars decide to come down from Jacksonville then they have to properly blend in with the community. Not only will they have to change their name to the Jaguares but also have the actual rock en espanol band perform during halftime. If you plan on joining the 76,000 hispanics to watch football, drink and party then make sure to bring a condom because we don't use them. But if that name doesn't fly with you then we can always cater to the audience and change it into a different animal that happens to be a feline. Continue reading →
Many sports fans have lamented on how sports analysts get off on motivated, lesser-talented (usually white), gritty players that are willing to do the dirty work. This is different than rooting for the underdog; this is passive aggressively indicting the more talented players on a team or in a league. Fans are right to be critical of the superstars on their favorite team, but it’s their lethargy that should draw you’re ire, not the futile hustle plays of a d-leaguer.
Just last season the Lakers were victimized by a gritty player in J.J. Barea. This tiny little point guard is going to be rewarded with a monster contract all because some sympathetic white people somewhere think he tries harder than everyone else on the court. The Lakers were beaten by Dirk Nowitzki, not some 3rd world point guard. Continue reading →